Frught Lupes Human Ass Orchestra
the best way to make lunch without food...

Frught Lupes Human Ass Orchestra, the band that dictates all moral values of society, is back, and this time they brought a canteloupe. The Lupes are back in the studio recording what can only be described as a centrifuge of tasteless bits of yellow bacon. This unique album will definitely end all the previous controversy that has surronded the band, and will probably stir new controversy all over again.

This is a good time to plant the sheep, explains Zarnac, We cone in peace... take this young girl as your daughter, and forget why I came...

The new album, tentatively titled Music for Dying, is a chilling social commentary, debating the existance of sound, and paying homage to the forefathers of modern refrigeration repair techniques. Not only has this thought provoking debate aroused the political community, but it has also gained much attention from a traveling french-bread slaesmen named pierre. The lupes have succesfully interwined post-apocalyptic bosa nova with ordinary kitchen spices to create a surprising blend of aromatic music, without the use of sound. This new and exiting technique has been dubbed fusic and is often referred to as aromanosic or beast of fury and sometimes even break-prance three(pixie).

The revolutionary concept of fusic opens a door in music which was previously sealed with an airtight cake batter known as flexigrip 88. The Lupes, using their vast knowledge of chemistry, decided to create an anti-batter to break the seal. Nothing happened, and this was the birth of fusic.

Included in their new album is a 15 page listener instruction booklet along with a stem of fresh asperagus and a hollow, organic golf ball. Once agian, the Lupes have surprised us with their tight buttocks by including a listener instruction booklet. The booklet was originally intended to allow the listener to hear the music as fusic, but interest faded and thus the book became a poem entitled Surgeon Love: The serenity of vegatables: A fifteen page oddessey.

One of the most interesting songs on the album is The Phone. The opening minutes smell very much like home-made cheesecake, but during the bridge, the listener begins to be overcome by garlic and what smells oddly enough, like shaven pencil lead. Well into the chorus, the entire room is filled with the stench of regurgitated red snapper and a particularly interesting exhaust smell.Near the end of the third chorus, the smells begin to pulsate madly and then suddenly fade, adn the room is filled with a relieving barrage of carpet disinfectant. The Phone is nothing less than a near death experience...

I caught up with band member Flobby Tthomuse last weekend at the annual toucan-wrestling competitiions in Lon-Buck, Utah.

I reccommend Music for Dying for families with small children. Kids enjoy nauseous smells -that's what being a kid is all about.. Flobby went on to say, As for the adult population, I rarely read pornography during the holiday season, much less at the dinner table during the holidays, so I couldn't tell you... unless, of couse, you might have some pudding... Flobby went on raving about his favorite dairy product when I was approached by the infamous B.J. Mudflash. He flogged me with a spoon and whispered, Purchase this album as if you life dedended on it.; He proceeded to had me a list that read the following:

Frught Lupes Human Ass Orchestra Rule-book: (3 truths)

1. Learn nothing.
2. Never set a trap that you might not fall into
3. Don't believe everything you say.

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